Fears That Won’t Let You Build a Good Relationship
- Written by News Co
There could be a few reasons why you are still single. Someone would say it’s the matter of appearance, others would reckon and admit it’s usually the issue with your foul character. But what if your inability to chat with pretty women is your self-consciousness? What if your fears always get in the way, poisoning your life, distancing you from any close and dear person? We all have been in that position. Here are some fears you need to get rid of to build a normal relationship.
You fear that your partner will find someone better than you
If you always ask yourself whether you are good enough for your partner, there could be three causes of this problem. You may do too little for the relationship, your partner may be too manipulative, or you can be just way too self-conscious. Accordingly, there should be three solutions. In the first two cases, you need to analyze your relationship to realize whether you do something wrong, or you are being forced to think so. Maybe you are too hotheaded or clingy. Maybe your partner asks too much and it’s not your problem. But in a third case, you’ll need to work a lot, because finding inner strength, as well as confidence, is not easy. But it’s worth the effort if you want to be good enough for your significant other (or yourself).
You are afraid of repeating the dynamics of a previous relationship
Yeah, we’ve all experienced toxic relationships in the past, and some of our exes were for sure a handful. Unfortunately, some of us start avoiding any contact with the opposite sex to keep yourself from bad memories. Or it can be quite the opposite: you may actively flirt or have flings until stuff gets serious and you need to make a decision. If you had a toxic relationship in the past doesn’t mean your new girlfriend will be the same as your ex. They don’t even know each other to share that evil and abusive mindset. Remember that your relationship relies on both of you if she wants a stable commitment, and you’ve learned your lessons from the past, not wanting to be walked all over, you should do good as a new couple.
You are afraid to settle for less
Expectations are a whole different topic when it comes to relationships. Everyone wants to hit the jackpot. You don’t want to settle for just a pretty woman, she also needs to be wife material, smart, modest, and independent. If you have your bar set too high, then logically, you will be disappointed. You don’t need to abandon a person if they don’t satisfy all of your desired qualities from the list. It happens when those traits you want to see in a girl are not the traits you need in a partner. And you can’t see what’s best for you until you try. So try to face your fears and meet a person who is slightly different from what you expected.
You are afraid that your relationships will end
It’s reasonable to note that not many people find their soulmate on the first try. Some need months to years to realize that someone whom they see as their perfect partner actually doesn’t fit them at all. After a breakup, you need to recollect yourself and try to for a second time with a different person. It’s the only way you can find a perfect fit. And the fear of missing out on your ideal can really ruin a good relationship.
You are afraid of being hurt
Unfortunately, no one is secure from being hurt at least once in a lifetime. You can only save yourself from pain by not choosing to start a relationship. The only thing you can do is devote all your effort not by limiting yourself, but by combatting your inner fears. Set your boundaries (including the use of things like adult toys in the bedroom). Don’t let people treat you badly. Define your borders and emphasize which mess-ups you definitely won’t forgive.
